


Winter Star

by jibberjabber13



Series: A Rose by Any Other Name [4]
Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Depression, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Mental Health Issues, Romance, Suicide Attempt, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-13 17:37:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14753325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jibberjabber13/pseuds/jibberjabber13
Summary: A trip to the hospital forces Shane to realize that he needs to get his life together. A second trip to the hospital makes him think he might just be completely in love with the farmer.





	Winter Star

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! I was originally going to wait a bit to post this story, but I'm so excited about how it turned out that I couldn't resist. I also upped the rating on this one just to be safe, since it deals with suicide

Shane woke up in a hospital bed, a bright white light shining into his face, without any recollection of how he got there. Tentatively, he reached his arm up to shield his eyes, only to find his muscles creaky and sore as he tried to move. 

“Easy, Shane.” The bespectacled Dr. Harvey was hovering over the bed, glancing back and forth between the machines monitoring vitals and the clipboard in his hands. He scribbled numbers and notes onto a sheet of paper, the scratching of the pen and the various beeping noises the only sounds in the room.

Shane placed his arm down and let the weight of his head sink into the pillow. His head—it was suddenly ten pounds heavier, it felt like. “What happened to me?” he asked.

Harvey peered over his glasses at Shane. “You had alcohol poisoning. Rose took you in, said she found you passed out in the forest,” he said in a matter-of-fact way, as if this was something that happened on a daily basis. 

Right. He’d tried to commit suicide.

Ending his life was something he’d previously only thought about in a vague sort of way, a potential escape plan of sorts, but he never had the courage to go through with it. Before, he had always been able to see a spot of hope in the way that Jas called him Uncle Shane or a beautiful day in the valley. But there was something about the dullness of late fall and the way that everything fell away to reveal bare branches and dead crops that made him feel even more depressed. 

It was a Thursday evening working at JojaMart when something inside of Shane was snipped like scissors taken to a balloon string, and he felt himself floating away as he arranged a pyramid of soda cans at the front of the store. His life was going nowhere, he realized and didn’t understand how he hadn’t fully comprehended this before. His life boiled down to making displays out of radioactive blue fizzy drinks and failed attempts at fathering a child that wasn’t even his. 

That night, he didn’t even go to the saloon first to get drunk, instead opening up the closet in his bedroom and pulling out the twelve-packs of beer he kept inside. After he downed the first two, he took one more and stumbled his way out of the house, praying he wouldn’t wake up Jas or Marnie. God, especially not Jas—he couldn’t stand the thought of her seeing him like this.

Outside, the rain soaked through Shane’s hoodie, sliding over his skin and making him shiver. He headed south down the dirt path to the forest, and his sneakers sunk into the mud with every step as he struggled to walk in a straight line. He reached the end of the forest and hovered over its sharp drop, staring down into the ground below. 

Shakily, he grabbed another beer and downed it. Then another. And another. He felt himself grow drunker, vision unfocused and hazy. Closing his eyes to regain some semblance of balance, he saw his Aunt Marnie and Jas standing over his coffin, crying. Visions of playing with Jas, the girl holding onto him as he swung her in circles, and she laughed. He felt like he was spinning in circles, around and around and around and—

He suddenly lurched forward and threw up onto the wet earth, then collapsed next to the pile of beer cans. That was how the farmer found him, drunk beyond all comprehension and lying face down in the grass next to a cliff, rain coming down in sheets and lightning crackling across the sky. 

“Shane?” she called out, repeating his name again and again as she ran to him and began to shake his unconscious body. Shane remembered mumbling something to her in response, but she had stopped trying to rouse him. Instead, she placed her hands under his arms and lifted him to his feet, carrying him to Dr. Harvey’s clinic. 

Rose. He gazed blankly out the window, wondering where she was and hating himself for bringing her into his problems.

“You know, Shane, I happen to be good friends with a counselor in Zuzu City,” Harvey said. Shane turned his head to look at the doctor, who had switched to a much softer tone. “I recommended her to Rose a while back, actually. I think you should consider going to see someone.”

Shane just nodded his head and went back to staring out the window. 

When he was finally released from Dr. Harvey’s care, Marnie and Jas were waiting for him, Jas bounding up to give him a hug, and Marnie hanging back with a relieved expression before pulling him in for an embrace.

“I’m so sorry, Aunt Marnie,” he managed to choke out, and he thought he saw tears in her eyes when he pulled away.

Together, the three of them began the long walk home, Jas clutching his hand so tightly her little knuckles turned white.

* * *

He went to visit Rose a week after he was released from Dr. Harvey’s care. By then, winter had settled in the valley, the grass tipped with frost and patches of snow dotting the paths around town. When he arrived on her farm, she was coming out of the chicken coop dressed in a puffy jacket, fur-lined hood pulled up over her head.

“Hi,” she said and gave him a small wave. Her hands were covered with polka dot patterned mittens. She sniffled, and up close, Shane could see that her nose had turned cherry red in the cold. Like most things having to do with Rose, he found it infuriatingly adorable.

He kicked at the snow beneath his feet, cursing himself for wearing shorts; his legs felt numb already. “I just wanted to thank you, and um, apologize for what happened.”

“Oh,” she said. “I’m just...really glad you’re alright.”

“Listen,” he said. “I have a favor to ask you.”

She’d agreed immediately to go with him to Zuzu City, to meet with the counselor, and seemed happy when he suggested it. They rode the bus in silence on the way to the city, the only acknowledgement of each other’s presence the gentle pressure of Rose’s hand in his, intertwined on top of his knee.

The office was cozy and dimly lit, a single lamp perched next to a coffee table. There was a desk shoved into the back corner that had paperwork piled high and scattered all over its surface. On a wooden chair, illuminated softly by the lamp, sat the counselor.

“Hi Shane,” she said, gesturing to the plush chair across from her. “Have a seat.”

She was a wispy and frail sort of woman, appearing as if she could be knocked over with the slightest puff of air. Yet, there was something about her that commanded attention and made the small office seem isolated from the crowded streets down below. As she studied him from behind her glasses, which were perched on the tip of her nose and held behind her ears with silver chains, he wondered what she made of him. Lately, the dark circles under his eyes had grown deeper and more prominent, and his stubborn five o’ clock shadow had morphed into a scraggly beard that he never managed to find the energy to shave. 

“So, from what I’ve read of Dr. Harvey’s notes, it seems like you’ve been struggling with symptoms of depression,” she finally said.

Shane snorted and folded his arms across his chest. “With all due respect, I think that may be an understatement, doc.” He leaned back into the chair, feeling his back sink into the decorative pillows placed on the chair. 

“Well, why don’t you start from the beginning, then?” the counselor said. 

He thought for a moment about replying with a snarky comment or closing up, like he usually did. But then he remembered the look of relief on Rose’s face when he told her he wanted to see someone, and he decided that for once, he might just cooperate. “My best friend died three years ago. Car crash. We grew up together, next door neighbors for eighteen years.”

He paused, expecting the counselor to respond with a look of pity or a half-hearted, “I’m sorry.” She didn’t. She just kept looking at him, waiting patiently for him to continue.

“I haven’t felt free, really free, since it happened, you know? Now, it’s like I’ve always got this weight on me,” he said, the words tumbling out of him unexpectedly. “I take care of his daughter now, she’s my goddaughter, and she’s just the most brilliant kid. And I feel like I’m screwing her up somehow, like she’ll learn from me how to behave, but no one should have to learn from a fuck up like me.”

Shane swallowed the thick lump he could feel rising in his throat, a sensation he always felt whenever he got too personal. “But I have this...thing with a girl. She moved into the farm next to my aunt’s ranch almost a year ago now, and she’s beautiful. I don’t know how else to describe her. It’s like I finally have this person who seems to understand me, and I can already feel that I’m messing it all up. Because I’m me, and that’s what I do. But I’m trying my best, and I...I hope that she knows that.”

After he finished, he choked back the sob that was building in his chest and stared down at his hands. He sat in silence for the rest of the session. When their time was up, the counselor stood up and guided him out the door.

“Same time next week, okay Shane?” she said, patting him on the shoulder.

He nodded and went outside to meet Rose. She was sitting on a bench facing the sidewalk, watching the people pass by in waves. When she caught his eye, he gave her a thumbs up, and she beamed at him. 

He secretly decided he’d keep going to these sessions for years if it meant he could see that smile again every time.

* * *

Despite his reputation as the town grump, Shane enjoyed the Feast of the Winter Star. The twinkling lights strung up on all the roofs, the aroma of delicious food, and the peals of laughter and merriment coming from the celebrations—it filled his heart with a certain warmth. 

That year, Marnie had gone all out with baking for the festival, dozens of sheets of cookies covering the counters at the ranch. She let Jas put icing on all of the cookies, most of which were now adorned with lopsided smiley faces. Shane stood off to the side, sipping hot chocolate and wearing a festive hat that Jas had shoved onto his head.

Rose watched along with him, that gentle smile never leaving her face. Shane had invited her the day prior, after she mentioned feeling sad that this would be her first holiday season spent without her family. She’d given him a long hug in response, and he thought he might have seen a tear fall down her cheek, but he didn’t mention it.

The Feast of the Winter Star was as awe inspiring as ever that year. When Rose first saw the giant tree, its branches covered in dazzling ornaments of varying colors and shapes, she let out a little gasp of wonder. Shane’s heart felt like it flipped, and he fully acknowledged this feeling; he’d stopped denying himself these little moments some time ago.

After placing a gift for her ‘Secret Friend’ underneath the tree, she left to go greet Leah, a redheaded loner with a penchant for art. The two had struck up a tentative friendship in the past month or so, and Shane could tell that Rose was at least somewhat more comfortable around the rest of the townsfolk since moving in, even though she still kept to herself a lot.

He heard Emily come up behind him, the bells she was wearing for earrings jingling as she approached him. “Geez, Shane, you’re not even trying to hide it anymore. You’re so in love, and let me tell you, it is adorable.” 

Shane smirked. “You’re nothing if not predictable, Emily,” he said.

“I’ll drink to that,” she said, raising her glass of eggnog to him before disappearing into the throng of people gathered by the buffet.

He idled near one of the tables by the tree, listening to Willy, the town’s resident fisherman, explain to Rose the story of the Winter Star. Shane himself had heard the story dozens of times; it was one Marnie loved to tell Jas. 

“They say,” Willy said, pausing for effect. “That in the night sky of winter, there’s a bright star only visible from this valley. No one knows why this is, but in times of old, people would come from far and wide to see it. They believed that anyone who laid eyes on the Winter Star would be blessed with good fortune.”

“That’s a nice story,” Rose said, smiling slightly. “I like that.”

Willy nodded. “It’s a neat little piece of our history,” he said. “You know, I always thought the Winter Star had another purpose too. I’ve seen it myself, actually.”

“You have?” Rose asked.

“Well, when I was younger, I used to go outside the valley to find new fishing spots, and one night I got terribly lost out in the forest. It was cold and dark, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it,” he said. “That’s when I saw it, this bright, shining star in the sky. I knew that if I followed it, I’d come home. I was right.”

“Huh,” she said, her voice warm, but barely above a whisper.

“Haven’t seen it since, though,” Willy said, staring off into the night sky. “Maybe we only see it when we need it the most.”

“Yeah,” Rose replied. “Maybe.” She turned and locked eyes with Shane, who had been watching her for the past few minutes. He blushed and quickly averted his gaze after a few beats, focusing on the tinsel that wrapped itself around the tree. 

* * *

Shane’s counselor suggested after a few sessions that whenever he felt the urge to drink, he should distract himself with another activity. The following night after the feast, when he got thirsty for a few beers (or ten), he decided to head outside and go for a walk. Although Spring was approaching, and the weather wasn’t quite as harsh as it had been during the rest of the season, there was still a chill in the air that made him shrink deeper into his hoodie and stuff his hands into the pockets.

It was a pleasant and clear night, stars dotting the sky all the way across the valley. The full moon illuminated the dirt paths and cobblestoned streets as he walked down the road next to Marnie’s Ranch and crossed the town square. He took in the fresh air with deep, cleansing breaths.

He stopped when he saw Rose coming down the path from the mountains and into the town center, wincing with every one of her steps, her chin tucked into her chest to avoid the wind. Her heavy breaths created visible puffs of air, and Shane could see her shiver as she moved. He felt something in his chest tighten, maybe in fear, as he watched her struggle.

“Rose,” he called out. “Rose, are you okay?”

She snapped her head up, eyes wild and panicked. It was then that he noticed there was a deep scratch on one of her shoulders, and a pool of blood forming on the flannel shirt she’d tied around the wound.

“Your shoulder, it’s bleeding. Why’s it bleeding? Why’s...blood?” he said in a strained voice, reaching out to touch the cut. Her face scrunched up with pain.

“Please don’t,” she said. Her voice sounded more faint than normal. “It hurts.”

“Rose,” said Shane. “You need help. I’m taking you to Dr. Harvey’s.” 

“You can’t do that,” she said, still quiet, but resolute. 

“Why not? You clearly need medical attention,” Shane said and pointed to her shoulder.

Rose shifted her eyes to the ground. “Because then everyone will know.”

“Know what?”

“That I go into the mines. Mayor Lewis has been talking about sealing the entrance.”

Shane had never been to the mines himself, but he had once spoken to Marlon, the strange man who ran the Adventurer’s Guild to the north. He’d been trying to avoid everyone during one of the town festivals and ran into Marlon, who was standing off to the side. The man regaled him with stories of his adventures, of sword fighting and treasure and delving deep into the mines, the eye not covered by his patch moving back and forth as he spoke. Shane knew, from that conversation alone, that the mine was filled with all kinds of dangerous monsters, and he wondered how long Rose had been putting herself at risk like that. He panicked at the thought. 

“You _what_?” 

“Please don’t yell.”

“I’m not yelling, I’m just concerned that the only person I _like_ in this stupid town is risking their life going spelunking in the caves next door.”

“I go because I don’t have any other way to make money.” Her words came out in a rush, all jumbled and frantic. Shane had never heard her speak so carelessly; normally, every word was calm and premeditated. “It’s winter, and my crops are dead, and all I have are two chickens that only give me one egg a day, and so I started collecting gems in the mines.” She reached behind her with her good arm and pulled out a shining red ruby from her bag. “See?”

As he watched her, face lit by the sheen of the gemstone, his heart rate gradually slowed down. “At least let me take you home,” he said. “Here, I’ll take your bag.”

She gave a slight nod and shrugged her backpack off her shoulders, grimacing in pain as it passed over her injury. Shane picked up the bag and slung it over his back. He offered his arm out to hold on to, but before she could grab him, she fell forward and vomited onto the cobblestone. 

“Okay, we’re going to the doctor,” Shane said and placed her uninjured arm over his shoulders so that he could carry her to Dr. Harvey’s. This time, she didn’t put up a fight and went with him as they staggered together through the square. 

The lights were off in the building when they reached the clinic, but Shane’s insistent pounding on the door woke Harvey up in a few minutes. He could tell Harvey was confused when he opened the door, and he was rubbing his eyes, which were still half shut from sleep. “Shane?”

“I need help,” he said. “Uh, Rose needs help.”

Harvey finally noticed Rose next to him, leaning heavily into Shane’s side as she struggled to stand up straight. The blood stain on her flannel shirt had grown significantly since Shane first ran into her, dripping down the sleeve. Harvey’s eyes widened. 

“Of course, come on in.”

As the pair staggered into the clinic’s waiting room, Dr. Harvey prepared to treat Rose. In the light of the doctor’s office, Shane could see bruises all over Rose’s body that were not evident in the darkness. His heart did that thing where it tightened again.

“I will take care of her,” said Dr. Harvey. “You can head home.”

“No,” Shane said, raising his chin in defiance. The thought of leaving Rose seemed incomprehensible to him, not after she’d stayed with him through everything. “I’m staying here.”

Harvey shrugged. “Alright, I guess you can stay in the waiting room, if you want.”

When Harvey came to inform him the next morning that she’d woken up, Shane was lying down across three chairs, sleeping. As soon as he heard the doctor’s footsteps, he bolted upright.

“Is she okay?” he asked.

Harvey chuckled, but Shane didn’t understand what exactly was supposed to be funny. “You two sure have a knack for getting yourselves hurt,” he said. “She’s just fine. A bit worn out and loopy from the pain medication I gave her, but you can go talk to her, if you’d like.”

Shane barely waited for Harvey to finish speaking before he went into the room. Her eyes were still closed when he walked in, but they slowly fluttered open at the sound of her name.

“Shane.” Her voice was sleepy, and she struggled to keep her gaze on him. He could see that there were still bruises on her body, but they seemed more faded in the light of day, and her shoulder was wrapped in gauze. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” he said. He leaned down and gave her a hug. 

“Winter Star,” she whispered into his ear and smiled. “You’re my Winter Star.”

A tingling feeling spread through Shane’s body at her words, what she was implying. Before he could second guess himself, he pulled back from the hug and pressed his lips to hers, softly and sweetly. When they broke apart, he kept his thumb on her cheek, and she kept her hand behind his neck, playing with the soft hair there. 

“Thanks for bringing me home,” she said, looking up at him with half-lidded eyes.

Home. That’s what the valley was to Shane now, he realized. Somewhere along the line, the town had stopped being made of cardboard caricatures to him. 

He closed his eyes, and it was suddenly a beautiful spring day, the sun spliced through tree branches into little strips of sunlight and the wind rustling the leaves. He was outside the ranch, and Jas was next to him, counting each time her jump rope hit the ground with a smack. Marnie was in the kitchen, windows open, the smell of fresh-baked bread in the air. And by his side was Rose, hand laced in his, her head resting gently on his shoulder.

Then it was a summer day, the heat boiling and almost unbearable, sun beating down on Rose’s back as she sprinkled hot pepper seeds on the ground. She reached an arm up to wipe away the sweat on her forehead and smiled when she noticed Shane watching from where he stood outside the chicken coop. When she finished her work that night, they walked arm in arm down to the sea, where they watched the moonlight jellies pass through the water, peaceful expressions reflected in their glow.

Autumn leaves crunched under Jas’s tiny feet as she skipped through the forest. Rose followed closely behind, but Shane stopped her with a tap to the shoulder. She turned around and accepted a bouquet of flowers from him, tugging on the collar of his green shirt to pull him in for a long kiss. 

On a winter’s day, with strong gusts of wind picking up piles of snow outside, Shane was inside Rose’s farmhouse, the fireplace roaring in the room next to him. They were both in her bed, facing each other, Shane’s arm draped over her side. She blinked her eyes open as she woke and smiled sleepily at him. He pressed a kiss to her nose and slipped out of bed, walking into the kitchen. 

When she came to follow him, he bent down on his knee and offered a blue Mermaid’s Pendant to her—a question. 

He knew then, in that moment, that he was going to stay in Pelican Town for a long time, rebuilding his life bit by bit. As he opened his eyes to look at Rose, he thought he’d heard much worse ideas.

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to check out my work :) If you're interested in reading more (and don't mind the shameless self promotion I'm about to do), there's three other little one-shots like this one in the series and a current multi-chapter that I recently started work on, which you can find as the next edition in the series or at this link [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14901741/chapters/34514367)
> 
> You can also come find me if you wanna share thoughts or chat about Stardew at jibjabwrites.tumblr.com!


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